This is one of those things that you tell your children when they are adults (and have or are getting ready to have kids of their own) and hope that it makes them realize how much you care for them and how much they should appreciate the things you did when they were babies.
I chose to breastfeed both of my kids. It just didn't work out with my first so unfortunately, I won't have the same stories to tell Lila as I will Vivian as far as breastfeeding. There are always stories and always experiences, but some, however, are funnier than others.
Today I left both of my kids for the first time. Lila is used to this. I have gone on overnight trips for work several times since she was born. Sometimes it was easy to leave, sometimes I cried all the way to Mt. Vernon and then a little bit when I got to Chicago. As a mother, you're always afraid you're going to miss something. This time is a little different. Every night for the 14 1/2 weeks since Vivian was born, I nursed her before bed. I rocked her then put her to sleep. Maybe it's harder on this time because I have two babies to worry about; two babies for my mom to take care of, OVERNIGHT; two babies for Neil to pick up from their respective childcares and hang out until my mom can get there; SEVERAL bags of frozen milk that had to be moved from the freezer to the fridge to thaw for Viv to take bottles while I'm gone. Maybe it's harder because I feel like I'm more of a control freak after having my second child, because even my mom doesn't do things like I do, even though I'm 100% confident in her ability to care for my babies while I'm gone. I don't know, it's just harder this time.
But I'm doing it. I've been away all day and I'm ok. The road to Springfield is one I've traveled many times in the five years I've been working for Harrisburg Project. It's one with which I'm very comfortable making the almost four hour haul. One thing is different this time. I'm still pumping. I've got my pump, I've got a cooler, I've got extra storage bags, I've got cleaner for my pump parts and bottles. I've got everything I need.
I'm not traveling alone. I'm traveling with my dear friend and co-worker, Sarah. I can't just stop and pump in my car when it's time. I've got to be courteous to my traveling buddy. So we stop to go to the bathroom and I just decide that I'm going to go ahead and pump while we're stopped.
Oh Lord have mercy. Of course there aren't any super duper clean places to pump, so I just pump in the bathroom while we're stopped. Nothing like pumping and having people knock on the door while you're in there. :) "Someone's in here. Sorry." Or being almost done and having THAT lady come flying into the other stall and about blowing you out. You have to just keep telling yourself that you're almost done...almost done. Then getting to the hotel and thinking, "Whew, we've made it. No more of that pumping in the bathroom nonsense.", only to find out that your room isn't ready. "Are you kidding me?" SMH So once again, I find myself pumping in the bathroom. Thankfully this time it was probably one of the cleanest bathrooms I've been in. It was even clean enough for me to wash my pump parts and bottles.
Man the things that mothers do for their kids. I can't wait until Vivian get older to let her know how hard I worked to give her food when she was just a wee lass.
Finally in my room and able to pump in comfort and privacy. Here's to hoping that if I have to pump in the bathroom tomorrow, it will be as clean as the bathroom in the lobby at the Hampton Inn. :)
